Ultima Final Fantasy | The Ultimate Final Fantasy Podcast

We've done it! We've beaten all of the games in the series according to our excellent, albeit sometimes error ridden, list. Enjoy as we read the last of our listener submitted Final Fantasy stories, as well as our official Ultima Final Fantasy Final Fantasy ranking. Thank you for all the wonderful years, and stay tuned for the next episode of Ultima Final Fantasy: The Ultimate Final Fantasy Podcast.

Direct download: UFF_FinaleFantasy_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am MST

This time on Ultima Final Fantasy, we sell out one last time, with a collection of Greatest Hits: Part V. Here are the best moments of 2019 (according to Victor Krause). Enjoy!

Direct download: Best_of_UFF_2019_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm MST

This week, we remember the podcast through the year of 2018. Join us for all the laughs, cringe, and much much more. Also, be sure to check out the Here's Johnny Horror Podcast by Justin, the man behind this week's episode. Enjoy!

Direct download: VeryBestof2018_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:28pm MST

This time on Ultima Final Fantasy, we sell out with a Greatest Hits part IV. Here are the funniest moments of 2017 (according to Greg Troyan), enjoy!

Direct download: UFF_Best_of_2017_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am MST

This week, our good friends Krinital and Black Mage Justin bring you all the very best of Ultima Final Fantasy for the year of 2016. Join us for all the laughs, interruptions, and excellent episodes sans Schweiss that 2016 had to offer. Thank you all for the great times over the years, and stay tuned for next week, where we cover the best of Ultima Final Fantasy from 2017.

Direct download: UFF_VeryBestof2016_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:18pm MST

This week, we continue our greatest hits of the weekly show with the year 2015's funniest moments (according to Joe)!

Direct download: Best_of_2015_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am MST

This week, the guys enjoy their hiatus by crafting the ultimate.....comedic collage of moments from Ultima Final Fantasy for the year of 2014. Join us as we find our voice, and our extroversion, through the incredible medium of podcasting. Enjoy the episode!

Direct download: UFF_Bestof2014FinalMix2_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:31pm MST

Welcome to our last review before the show goes on hiatus! Our 49th and Final Final Fantasy game review: World of Final Fantasy!

Direct download: WOFF_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am MST

This week, we have received another guest review episode from the boys over at the Lipstick Panel. Join them as they dive into their conflicting opinions on this classic title. Enjoy, and look forward to our review of World of Final Fantasy next week.

Direct download: UFF_RomancingSaga_mixdownFINAL.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:31am MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe discuss the hit TV series Final Fantasy Unlimited. Join them for a brief discussion of the people involved in the anime, the story, design, music, and overall experience that the show brought us. We also derail for a bit discussing historical figures, and have a special guest on for a post credits bit. Enjoy!

Direct download: UFF_FinalFantasyUnlimited_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:09pm MST

This week, the UFF boys brave the much-hated Final Fantasy X audio drama: Final Fantasy X "Will".


Direct download: UFF_FFX_Will_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:30am MST

This time, Schweiss and Joe discuss the audiobook they provided you guys with last week. Enjoy as they rant about the FFVII Remakes title, the novella, and much more. Also, enjoy both versions of our newest FFX Megadeth track! 

Direct download: UFF_PriceOfEternityReviewed_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03pm MST

This week, Joe and Kaleb have yet another audiobook performance for you; this time, we read Final Fantasy X-2.5 Price of Eternity. Join us as we stumble through this things intense content, and vocabulary level. If you'd like to read along, please do so here: 


Enjoy the grind!

Direct download: UFF_FFX2_EternalCostAudiobook_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:39pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe discuss the contents of the last audiobook they recorded,  Final Fantasy XIII: Reminiscence -tracer of memories-. Joe derails immediately into a therapy session, the guys talk World of Final Fantasy progress, and then read another Final Fantasy Story from a listener. Enjoy!

Direct download: UFFTracer1_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:38am MST

This week, Kaleb Schweiss reads a Fan Translation of the elusive canon Final Fantasy XIII Novela, Final Fantasy XIII: Reminiscence -tracer of memories-!

Here's a link to the translation:


Direct download: FinalFantasyXIII_Reminiscensce_TracerofMemories_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am MST

This here's a review for ya'll that listened to the fan-made audiobook two weeks ago! We also talk about Final Fantasy news, hear a Final Fantasy Story from Aforextreme, and listen to a Slipknot-style of the FF6 Auction House theme created by James Gameboy!

Direct download: UFF_FragmentsAfterReview_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:55pm MST

This week, the guys get together to review one of the few titles released since we started the podcast; Final Fantasy Explorers! Join Kaleb and Joe as they dive into the games story, gameplay, soundtrack, visuals and much more. Is this game still alive and well? Is it worth picking up? Come find out! 

Direct download: UFF_FinalFantasyExplorers4_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:53pm MST

This week on UFF, we do something a little different. Joe reads a fan-translation of a yet-unreleased Final Fantasy book: Final Fantasy XIII-2 Fragments After. We hope you enjoy it!

Check out the fan translation here: 


Direct download: UFF_FF13_2_FragmentsAfterFanAudiobook_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am MST

Joe joins The Lipstick Panel to talk about the first album from The Black Mages. Enjoy!

Direct download: UFF_Black_Mages_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:34am MST


Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes of Light, known as Final Fantasy Gaiden in Japan, is a Role Playing Game developed by Matrix Software and published by Square Enix on October 29, 2009 in Japan, and October 5th, 2010 in the States. You may remember Matrix Software from their IOS ports of Final Fantasy II, IV, V, VI,  After Years, and even Dragon Quest V. This is the second Final Fantasy game to wield the Gaiden, or spinoff title, in Japan; The other being the aforereviewed Final Fantasy Adventure. The game’s directors were Takashi Tokita and Hiroaki Yabuta. Tokita you may remember as the director of Chrono Trigger and Parasite Eve. He also worked as lead designer for Final Fantasy IV. The game was produced by Tomoya Asano, the lead artist was Akihiko Yoshida; Yoshida worked on background art and main character design for the Ivalice games, where Mizuta worked on FFXI with Uematsu, and that god awful Parasite Eve 2. The development team had begun to consider a sequel to this game, and that’s why we’re going to play Bravely Default; which is what that “sequel” eventually became. The entire game was meant to be a throwback to the original titles in the Final Fantasy series, and you can definitely tell. The game featured an interesting storybook style art design, similar to Chocobo’s Tales, and also features a pretty bitchin version of the job system from FF III and V. The development team looked to DQ games, and other popular NES era RPG’s for inspiration as well as previous FF titles.



The game starts out in the city of Horne with our main hero Brandt. Brandt is presenting himself to the king to enter manhood, and discovers that the Princess, Aire, has been taken by the Witch of the North, named Louhi. Along the way, Brandt meets up with his moody friend Jusqua and the princess’ personal bodyguard, and savior of us all, Yunita. Together they journey to the witche’s house, and eventually slay Louhi. When we trudge back to Horne, we find that the entire town has been turned to stone by some curse, and the king is missing. This is when our little fellowshiop breaks for the time being. Brandt and Yunita try to restore Horne’s villagers, while Jusqua and Aire flee to Liberte, a seafaring town. Brandt and Yunita meet a fellow named Krinjh in a nearby desert, who leads them to the magic kingdom of Guera. The King of Guera asks them to deal with the fucking Sandman, since Spiderman is busy, and you agree. But of course, he annihalates you, because you need water spells and the LEADER ORDERS A FUCKING FREEZE ON WATER SPELL SALES! Anyway, you win the fight, but the sand creature is revealed to be Araidne, who Krinjh runs away with. Aire meets up with a fairy named Lilibelle, and gets turned into a cat. Aire leaves Jusqua’s grumpy ass behind, and finds Brandt, who also left Yunita behind for some reason… Anyway, they head to Arbor forest, where the Queen of the forest turns Brandt into a plant, because she doesn’t trust humans after the events of Ferngully 1, and dare I say 2. Aire then teams up with a mouse named Tortehhhh to find an Animal Staff in order to turn Brandt into a dog, thus making him more trustworthy. But before we get this taken care of, we must defeat Arbaroc; the guardian of Arbor. We knock him out, and the Queen of Arbor turns the Animal Staff into the Transformation Staff, which allows us to go transspecial with a mere three menu clicks. We then first learn of Rolan, who searches for the Dark Towe…. Wait, no. He’s just a dude from Spelvia who may know how to help Horne. The two animals Aire and Brandt climb the great tree of the arbor and leap to the super FF-esque floating island of Spelvia, but Aire is the only one who makes it across. Jusqua finds a regular cat, who he mistakes for Aire somehow, and travels to Urbeth; finding Yunita and a sorcerer who claims to be able to lift the curse from “Aire”. We earn some dough by completing some quests for the locals, and then we find out that the dirty sorcerer was nothing more than a con artist, who promptly escapes to the six teraflop city of Invidia. Jusqua leaves warrior princess Yunita behind and pursues the sorcerer on a boat. He’s soon reunited with Brandt, and learns that Aire was with him the whole time. When our two heroes arrive in Invidia, they meet up with a girl named Rekoteh who helps them get the dragon harp, which allows the party to summon a dragon to fly to Spelvia. Yunita has climbed the tower to the Sky to reach the town, and meets up with Aire as they arrive. We then visit Rolan, who also dislikes humans, and has locked himself away in solitude. Then we get a sweet sequence where Yunita and Aire travel into Rolan’s unconcious mind with the help of the Witch of the Sky to destroy the monsters controlling him. This, however, causes Rolan to ulneash the darkness that was locked away inside him, and warp the very fabric of reality. Ardyn, anyone?? At this point, the heroes search for the Weapons of Light to save the world from the Dark Lord that the ancient hero Rolan defeated and sealed away. In the kingdom of Guera’s past, Krinj is a servant of their past king, who turns out to be Asmodeus, or as Joe and I call him, Assdemon, the demon of lust; and he lusts after your juicy asscheeks, to be sure. Yunita prevents his evil plans from being completed by using the Merkmal, or Merkin, to reveal his true identity, and then the group fights him, gets fucking wrecked, and darkness wins the day. 40 times. Until eventually he doesn’t fuck you over instantly, and you defeat him. Krinjh then rewards you with the Shield of Light, which I actually didn’t take at first, which led me to be lost for about three hours last night. Krinjh eventually becomes king, and makes peace with the nearby nations. In Liberte’s past, and artist is looking to create the most beautiful piece of art ever, and wants to incorporate Lillibelle into it. A bunch of pirates steal the work, and we find out they were being possessed. ONce we free them, we awaken Cetus, an ancient whale, and use him to defeat Leviathan, the demon of envy. Urubeth was once a city of faith, but a recent plague turned it into a commerce town. Thazund, one of the high merchants of the town, has a daughter who has fallen ill to the plague. Jusqua is determined to prevent this, and finds a cure, but we also find out that the town apothecary is causing the plague, and selling the medicine at an absurdly high markup. We reveal him to be Beelzebub, the demon of Gluttony, and rip him apart. For our good deeds, Thauzand gives us the Cape of Light, and Urbeth becomes balanced between commerce, and faith. We then move to Arbor. Torte, once a human rather than the rat we know him as, releases Belphegor, the demon of sloth, or ass to ass, in order to obtain the super OP spell Lux. His punishment is being turned into a mouse, and he is the catalyst for the Arbor Queen’s distaste towards humans. Belphagor attempts to posses Aebaroc to destroy Arbor. Originally, Belphagor wins, but our time warp intervention prevents it. But not before he fucks you over, and over, and over, and over again. With Belfaggot dead, we receive the spell Lux; and my god is it useful. Now we turn to Invidia, home of the Ruskies. We help the daughter of Rekoteh, and journey to the Sun Temple to defeat Mammon, the demon of greed. Once we return to the village, spring finally arrives, and we are awarded with the Armor of Light. We also visit Spelvia in the past, and save Rolan from the darkness. We dive into his soul, and defeat Lucifer himfuckingself, the demon of pride, and free Rolan’s soul. He awards us with the Sword of Light. We finally make it back to Horne, who is suffering a drought. This extreme situation called for extreme measures, and the town voted to ask the witch Louhi for help. This is also, oddly, the day of Aire’s birth. Her father agrees to give her away to break the seal on the legendary black magic. Our defiance of the deal by saving Aire, and killing Louhi, caused the curse in the first place.We eventually use the lamp of truth to question the shitlord king of this place, and find out that he’s Satan, demon of wrath. Brandt’s parrot shows up, and reveals himself as the actual mayor. This is when we find out that we were played in the beginning, and serving evil. The king thanks us, and gives us the overpowered black magic Desolator. Once our for heroe’s have the weapons of light, they use Cletus to enter the Dark World, and not the one from that crap Thor movie, either. We, of fucking course, lose all of our jobs, and have to earn them back by defeating all the douche bosses that the game offered; first and foremost are Assdemon and Belfaggot. This is a very similar idea to FFVIII’s final dungeon, tbh. We then face off against Chaos, who shatters our job creating crystal, and still loses to us. But again, not after making me spend hour after hour journeying to fight him again and again. We then embark on our world tour, returning the sacred weapons. Everything is good to go, and we finally return home.

Direct download: UFF_4HeroesofLight_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:23am MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe keep their longtime supporter Susanne up way past her bedtime to record an episode. Join us as we go through her Final Fantasy journey from its humble beginnings with older siblings, to eventually living and breathing the most recent entry in the mainline series with XV. Enjoy the episode!

Direct download: UFF_SusannePatreonInviteEp_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:34am MST

Sorry for the late upload! We recorded it on time, but Joe left some necessary equipment at Schweiss's house during the Kupocon trip, and they had to wait for the mail... Ironically there's some talk about "never missing an episode", and yet, here we are.

This week, it's all about Distant Worlds IV.

Direct download: UFF_DistantWorldsIV_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:54pm MST

This week, Kaleb and Joe recount their experiences meeting up with a few wonderful listeners, their take on the con, and their experience in New York City this time around. Enjoy the episode, especially the painfully inebriated interview sections!

Direct download: UFF_Kupocon2019_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:39pm MST

This week, due to Joe and Schweiss being in NJ for Kupocon, Greg and Steve return to continue their reviews on the Saga series. Enjoy the banter, and we'll be back next week with a roundup of Kupocon.

Direct download: UFF_FinalFantasyLegend3_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:37pm MST

This week on Ultima Final Fantasy, Joe finally does his duty as a host by not only watching the Square Enix E3 presentation on the Final Fantasy VII remake, but he also commentates on it. Join us for a discussion about the trailer, gameplay, and even the interview with Kitase, and of course, that breast reduction. Enjoy the episode!

Direct download: FFVII_Reactions_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:48pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe discuss Square Enix's E3 performance as it pertains to Ultima Final Fantasy. They discuss at length the Final Fantasy VII remake trailer, gameplay, and much more. They also dive into the FFVIII remaster, Crystal Chronicles Remaster, and the Mana news. Also, Fragments before Part Four... Enjoy the episode!

Direct download: UFF_FinalFantasyandE3_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:56pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe invite long time patron Ryan onto the program to talk some Final Fantasy. He brings us his lifelong history with the series, his rankings, and pits his knowledge against that of Joe himself. Enjoy the episode!


The Remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YwWuPUhgTM

Direct download: UFF_RyanMcPherson_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:52am MST

This week, Greg and Steve take over Ultima Final Fantasy again to review Final Fantasy Legend II, a game that Joe and Kaleb refuse to play. Join them for their take on the 1990 Gameboy title from Square Enix. Enjoy the episode, Kaleb and Joe will be back next week.


Never Give Up Rock Remix
Direct download: UFF_FinalFantasyLegend2_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:52pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe finally get around to reviewing Final Fantasy Mystic Quest. Join them as they review the game's story, gameplay, sound/music, and discuss the overall legacy of the game. They also answer each and every question from you guys. Thanks for listening to the last five years of this podcast, and look forward to the next episode of Ultima Final Fantasy, the Ultimate....Final Fantasy Podcast.

Direct download: MysticQues_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:24pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe review the beloved Theatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call. Join them as they discuss the minutia of story the game possesses, discuss the differences between Curtain Call and its sequel, and much more. They also voice their opinions of the Final Fantasy VII Remake trailer, and discuss Con Smarts. Enjoy the episode!

Direct download: Theatrhythm_Curtain_Call_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:38am MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe review yet another Final Fantasy game with Theatrhythm Final Fantasy. Join them as they take yet another adventure down memory lane while playing some of their favorite pieces from the Final Fantasy series. The guys talk about the gameplay, soundtrack, graphics, and much more. Enjoy the episode, and stay tuned for the next episode of Ultima Final Fantasy, the ULTIMATE.....Final Fantasy Podcast.

Direct download: UFF_Theatrythym_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:20am MST

This week, Ultima Final Fantasy review the most recent entry in the Dissidia series with Dissidia Final Fantasy NT. Join them as they dive into the simple, yet changed, storyline, gameplay, sountrack, and much more. Stay tuned for the next episode of UFF, and get your Theatrythym reviews in!


Remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0yPrv5NkQE

Direct download: UFF_DissidiaFinalFantasyNT_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:33pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe return to the Final Fantasy XIII-2 audiobook Fragments Before. Join us for part three of this epic that surrounds Snow and a particular Cactuar. They read some reviews, go over news, and go full Nostradamus on Final Fantasy XV and VII's Remake. Enjoy the episode!


Scott's Audiobook: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srar8zheECc&list=PL0AgSeFefnF0KWCZfCzux9SpbDMIej4ee&index=7



Direct download: UFF_FragmentsBefore3_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:41pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe finally get to review the remake/prequel to Dissidia Final Fantasy with Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy. Join them as they recount their experiences with the changes, additions, and much more compared to the original game. Thanks for listening, and stay tuned for another episode of Ultima Final Fantasy; The Ultimate...Final Fantasy Podcast!

Direct download: Dudecaim_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:51pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe discuss their reading of the audiobook of Final Fantasy XIII-2: Fragments Before, Part Two. They discuss the lack of sex appeal with the current markets cars, Square Enix's quasi-obsession with numbers, cover a ton of news, and much more. If you'd like to listen to the audiobook, see the link below:


Direct download: UFF_FragmentsBeforePt2_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:12pm MST

Schweiss has been super busy, and thus didn't have time to listen to the XIII novella this week. Join him as he recounts the craziness of the last seven days, his new child, and his and Joe's obsession with the book Sapiens. Enjoy this intimate, non Final Fantasy related episode with your hosts, and look forward to another episode of Ultima Final Fantasy, the ULTIMATE.....Final Fantasy podcast!

Direct download: Sapiens1_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:50pm MST

This week, the guys bring on Andrew from the Theme Sparks podcast to help Schweiss and Joe build their very own Final Fantasy X theme park. This theme park is unique, as it gives the guys an unlimited amount of creative power, and of course, and endless chunk of change. Join us for all the fun, and make sure to check out Andrew's stuff here:

Website: http://amusementsparks.blubrry.com/

Twitter: @AmusementSparks 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amusementsparks/?__tn__=%2Cd%2CP-R&eid=ARCgvZQr67mWhBkFsrD6027IAzTi978LBvcnGvzJEXqfiDZ3es-ce_3MQCG8WD2mhEwaBhMGJ3AovNf5


Direct download: ThemeParkFinal_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:51am MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe get together to discuss their recent playtrhough of the hit PSP game Dissidia Final Fantasy. Join them as they discuss their experiences and opinions on the games story, gameplay, sound/music, design, overall legacy, and much more. Enjoy the episode, and stay tuned for the next episode of Ultima Final Fantasy, the Ultimate...... Final Fantasy Podcast.

Direct download: UFF_DissidiaReview1_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:42am MST

This week on Ultima Final Fantasy Joe and Schweiss discuss the 2015 Distant Worlds III: More Music from Final Fantasy album. Join them as they rank and review each of Nobuo Uematsu's classic pieces rearranged by the 

Direct download: UFF_DistantWorldsIII_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:56am MST

This week, Kaleb and Joe sit down with Victor, a Patreon guest, to discuss his Final Fantasy story. Enjoy!

Direct download: UFF_Victor_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:45pm MST

This week on UFF, Kaleb and Joe dive into the newly released Episode Ardyn Prologue and then discuss whether or not turned-based battle systems are a thing of the past. Enjoy!

Direct download: UFF_EpisodeArdynPrologue_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:32am MST

This week on UFF, Kaleb and Joe talk about the official Final Fantasy XIII short story, "Episode i". They also decide to play the original Dissidia. Sorry for the late upload. Enjoy!

You can read the fan translation of the story here:


Or listen to the Scott Spot audio version here:


Direct download: UFF_FFXIII_EP1_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:56pm MST

This week, Kaleb and Joe review the Final Fantasy XV expansion that was recently released as a stand-alone title: Final Fantasy XV: Comrades!

Direct download: UFF_ComradesFFXV_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:49pm MST

This week, Schweiss and Joe take the week off thanks to Greg Troyan and his bassist pal Steve Smith. Join them as they discuss why we aren't playing this title, why it's important to play, and what series they led to. Enjoy the review!

Direct download: UFF_FinalFantasyLegend_mixdownFINAL.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm MST

On this episode of UFF, Kaleb and Joe announce the winners for the last UFF Podcast Awards!

Direct download: UFF_2018UFFAwards_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:59am MST

This week on UFF, Kaleb and Joe argue about bartering. Also, they review #Finalfantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon.

Direct download: UFF_FFFChocobosDungeon_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:11am MST

This week, we talk to frequent UFF guest, Greg Troyan, about his history with Final Fantasy! Be sure to check out his band and podcast at http://www.lipstickgeneration.com/

Direct download: UFF_GregTroyan_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:33pm MST

This week, UFF ranks the tracks on Distant Worlds II and announce the 2018 UFF Podcast award Nominees!

Direct download: UFF_DistantWorldsII_mixdown.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:55pm MST